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10 THINGS NOT TO DO ON HOLIDAY

1. Try not to be drunk during the day at your holiday resort. Red faced, sweating and sick is not an attractive look at home or abroad.

2. Don’t wander about towns or cities in beach clothes it is offensive to the locals. Dress as they do and you won’t go far wrong.

3. If you sunbathe topless take the time to put a top on when going off the beach or away from the poolside.

4. If you are visiting strongly religious countries take the time to find out the local rules and regulations regarding clothing, manners and behaviour. In some countries the breaking of their laws could result in jail time!

5. If you must hire a dune buggy or motorbike when on holiday, drive it sensibly in the appropriate area. Behaving like a lunatic roaring up and down the local beach will not make you more attractive to the local females. Neither will revving your engine continuously or doing wheelies on take off. This is even more important if you are over 40.

6. If you must get drunk try not to sing on the way back to your Hotel room. I know this is a difficult one because a few drinks and your singing improves tremendously but everyone who is trying to sleep will really appreciate it.

7. If you are overweight do not choose the tiniest of swim suits. I know a tan makes you look slimmer but it isn’t a miracle cure.

8. When purchasing new clothes for your holiday, don’t buy anything you wouldn’t wear in your own home town, the locals in your holiday resort would really appreciate this.

9. Don’t insist on eating only McDonalds or egg and chips have a culture shock and try the local food.

10. Women of a certain age don’t think just because you are on holiday and in the sun that dressing 20 years younger is suitable and attractive or that you are fooling anyone.

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